Will I be accepted to the center and/ or community without being judgmental about my own behavior?

I am interested in visiting your center as I feel i am in need of a community and the guidance of spiritual leaders and fellow practitioners. I am truly a beginner with much curiosity and fear. I was abused as a child which has now become a long pattern of self abuse. I have been inspired by buddhism and meditation because I would like to understand and change these patterns. I've come to believe there is a force within me that can be tapped into through practice that will help me improve future karma which is important to me. I would like to be kinder to myself and others. I have read some information regarding finding the school of practice and also a teacher/community which will best suit my lifestyle and personality. It is important to me to make a good match so that I can better commit myself to a spiritual path. In many ways i fear being judged initially for my unhealthy patterns. I wonder how my individual struggles/situation might be regarded and approached by you the monks and your community. Is there some individual assessment made with a newcomer? Thank you for your time.

1 answer

It appears that you want to visit the center with the aim of understanding yourself and getting rid of certain presumably disturbing practices associated with your lifestyle. However it is not clear what you mean by a 'force' and also 'best match' in your question. However, there is no need to be fearful of being judged by others because those who are judgmental may not always be correct in their own decision and we need not be overwhelmed by others supposed judgments if we make appropriate decisions without harming ourselves and others and also according to the existing law of the country. Buddhism does not reject people having made individual assessments on them and instead try to help them in whatever possible way. We suggest that you primarily send an email giving further details about your problem so that we can be of help. Also you can make a visit to the center at a free time after contacting the monks if you wish to do so. - Bhante Mahinda   2010-02-06 17:02:12

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